Quotes from Michele “Fuzzball” Bachmann

This collection of quotations is designed to reflect some of Michele Bachmann’s most absurd views.  I have tried to provide enough context to show that I am not manipulating her words, but I also want to avoid too much unnecessary text to keep this post from growing to enormous proportions. I have provided hyperlinks to credible sources to permit easy verification that these excerpts are legitimate. Please feel free to link me to better sources (transcripts of live recordings are ideal).

Since this list is long, I am setting noteworthy bits in boldface to permit skimming.

Is your favorite Bachmann quote missing? Tell me about it in the comments.


Single Parents? No, Thanks

No matter what, a child needs two parents. They need one person to watch them and take care of them; they need another person to supply the money to support them.”
— Interview on KKMS 980-AM, “Prophetic Views Behind the News,” hosted by Jan Markell, 3/6/2004. Audio.

“We don’t need political correctness because most fundamentally I believe the building block of the family is what the government needs to do right now and support two-parent families as the foundation of our economic and social policy.”
— Stump speech in Spartanburg, SC, 2/19/2011. Source.

Homo Schmomo

“If you’re involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle, it’s bondage. It is personal bondage, personal despair and personal enslavement.”
— Speech at EdWatch National Education Conference, 11/6/2004. [EdWatch conference recordings are not available for free.] Source 1Source 2. Source 3. Source 4. A clip from Meet the Press featuring some audio from the speech.

A critic who cites homophobia as a factor in teen suicide “fails to acknowledge other psychological factors that could contribute to homosexual youth committing suicide, like family problems or abuse or maybe the fact of what they’re doing.”
— Speech at EdWatch National Education Conference, 11/6/2004. [EdWatch conference recordings are not available for free.] Source 1. Source 2. Source 3. Source 4.

“The mother says ‘Well, that’s when a man likes other men, and they don’t like girls.’ The boy’s eight. He’s thinking, ‘Hmm. I don’t like girls. I like boys. Maybe I’m gay.‘ And you think, ‘Oh, that’s, that’s way out there. The kid isn’t gonna think that.’ Are you kidding? That happens all the time. You don’t think that this is intentional, the message that’s being given to these kids? That’s child abuse.”
— Speech at EdWatch National Education Conference, 11/6/2004. [EdWatch conference recordings are not available for free.] Source 1. Source 2. Source 3.

The following five quotations are from two 2004 radio shows about gay marriage. Bachmann was interviewed on KKMS 980-AM, “Prophetic Views Behind the News,” hosted by Jan Markell, on March 6th and March 20th, 2004. Below each quote, I’ve listed the date of the interview and a link to the audio.

“And what a bizarre time we’re in, Jan, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”
— 3/6/2004. Audio.

“Because the immediate consequence, if gay marriage goes through, is that K-12 little children will be forced to learn that homosexuality is normal, natural, and perhaps they should try it.”
— 3/20/2004. Audio.

“This is a very serious matter, because it’s our children that is the prize for this community; they are specifically targeting our children.”
— 3/20/2004. Audio.

“Today, marriage is dying in Scandinavia; so is the population.”
— 3/6/2004. Audio.

“We’re in a state of crisis where our nation is literally ripping apart at the seams right now, and lawlessness is occurring from one ocean to the other, and we’re seeing the fulfillment of the Book of Judges here in our own time, where every man doing that which is right in his own eyes — in other words, anarchy.”
— 3/6/2004. Audio.

Education is for Chumps

“There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”
— 2006 debate sponsored by the League of Women Voters and KSTP TV. Video.

“In some ways, to believe in evolution is almost like a following — a cult following. If you don’t believe in evolution, you’re considered completely backward. That seems to me very indicative of bias as well.”
— As quoted in The Stillwater Gazette, 9/27/2005. Source.

“Even in the area of math, academics is not where we’re going anymore – that math now is arbitrary and man-made, contrary to common sense. We all know – how would you like it if you went into Herberger’s this weekend, bought a blouse, gave a $50 bill for a $30 blouse, and the student said, well, here’s $5. And you said, ‘I deserve 15 more. What’s the deal?’ And they said, ‘Well, that’s my mathematical worldview.‘ You’d be knocking on the door of the manager so fast it would make your head spin! This is where on paper these ideas sound so avant garde, so sophisticated, but take these ideas down into the real world, where I live, where you live, and it doesn’t pan out and it doesn’t make sense.”
— Speech featured in Guinea Pig Kids II, a 2002 film highlighting her work as an education activist. Source. Video.

“Goals 2000, of which we’ve heard quite a bit, is a partnership between government and your local public schools to radically transform and change our public education system, as you’ve learned today, to train children to accept not freedom, but to accept and anticipate government central planning of our economy and our way of life.”
— Speech at EdWatch National Education Conference, Oct. 10-11, 2003. [EdWatch conference recordings are not available for free.] Source 1. Source 2.

Environmental Voodoo

“The big thing we are working on now is the global warming hoax. It’s all voodoo, nonsense, hokum, a hoax.”
— Speech to Sherburne County Republicans at Salida Depot, Big Lake, MN, 3/15/2008. Source.

“But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows carbon dioxide is a harmful gas. There isn’t one such study because carbon dioxide is not a harmful gas, it is a harmless gas. Carbon dioxide is natural. It is not harmful. It is part of Earth’s life cycle. And yet we’re being told that we have to reduce this natural substance and reduce the American standard of living to create an arbitrary reduction in something that is naturally occurring in the earth.”
— On the floor of the House of Representatives, 4/22/2009. Source. Video and transcript.

Struggling to Make Sense of Foreign Countries

Iran is the trouble maker, trying to tip over apple carts all over Baghdad right now because they want America to pull out. And you know why? It’s because they’ve already decided that they’re going to partition Iraq. And half of Iraq, the western, northern portion of Iraq, is going to be called, um, the United, um, I’m sorry, I can’t remember the actual name of it now, but it’s going to be called, um, the Iraq State of Islam, something like that. And I’m sorry, I don’t have the official name, but it’s meant to be the training ground for the terrorists. There’s already an agreement made. They’re going to get half of Iraq and that is going to be a terrorist safe haven zone where they can go ahead and bring about more terrorist attacks in the Middle East region and then to come against the United States because we are their avowed enemy.”
— Interview with the St. Cloud Times, 2/9/2007. Reports of the text of this statement vary somewhat due to Bachmann’s hemming and hawing. Source 1. Source 2. Source 3. Source 4. Source 5.

“As a nation we have been blessed because of our relationship with Israel, and if we reject Israel, then there is a curse that comes into play.”
— Speech at a Republican Jewish Coalition event in Los Angeles, CA, 2/1/2010. Source and partial transcript.

[Retelling a conversation she allegedly had with an unnamed Japanese man] “In Japan, people have stopped voicing their opinion on health care. There’s things that are wrong with Japanese health care, but people started voicing. ‘Well why is that,’ I asked. He said it’s because they know that would get on a list and they wouldn’t get health care. They wouldn’t get in. They wouldn’t get seen. And so people are afraid. They’re afraid to speak back to government. They’re afraid to say anything. Is that what we want for our future? That takes us to gangster government at that point!”
— Speech in Rochester, MN, 2/1/2010. Source. Video.

Bachmannian Economics

”I don’t know where they’re going to get all this money because we’re running out of rich people in this country.”
— Interview on KTLK-FM, hosted by Chris Baker, 2/17/2009. Source with audio. Alternate source.

If Tim Geithner is successful under President Obama, and they move us to an international currency, then we have no hope of standing on our own as a sovereign nation with our own economic system. It’s over.”
— Interview on The Sean Hannity Show, 3/25/2009. Source. Audio.

“I have experienced that throughout my political career being labeled a kook. It just happened again in a big story in the Minneapolis Star Tribune. But all we have to do is point to the treasury secretary on tape, on camera. This is not Michele Bachmann being a kook. This is our treasury secretary on tape and on camera. And also we now have countries across the world asking for this. That’s why I went to my fellow colleagues and I dropped a bill day before yesterday that would bind the president’s hands, that wouldn’t allow him to enter into a treaty or an international agreement to take us off the dollar and put us on an international currency.”
— Interview on The Glenn Beck Show, 3/27/2009. Source and transcript. Source for date.

Literally, if we took away the minimum wage — if conceivably it was gone — we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.”
— Testifying in front of the Minnesota Senate, 1/26/2005. Source 1. Source 2. Source 3.

[I am still not certain if this is an accurate quotation.] “Many teenagers that come in should be paying the employer because of broken dishes or whatever occurs during that period of time. But you know what? After six months, that teenager is going to be a fabulous employee and is going to go on a trajectory where he’s going to be making so much money, we’ll be borrowing money from him.”
— Allegedly spoken on 1/26/2005. I would appreciate any reliable sources. (Some examples of what I have found include Questionable Source 1 & Questionable Source 2)

Obamacare

Death panels are the bureaucracies that President Obama is establishing, that will — where bureaucrats will make the decision on who gets health care, and how much. Who will have access to doctors? How quickly? What will the delays be? Because we know, this bill will include rationing.”
— Interview with NewsMax, December 2009. Source. [NewsMax later removed the interview from its own site.]

Barack Obama inserted — and the liberal democrats inserted — socialized medicine into this bill, so now we’ll have a national rationing board, and your doctor will no longer be able to make your healthcare decisions with you. Now a rationing board will be making those decisions.”
— Interview on KTLK-FM, hosted by Chris Baker, 2/17/2009. Source with audio. Alternate source.

The president’s adviser, Dr. Emanuel, believes communitarianism should guide decisions on who gets care. He says medical care should be reserved for the nondisabled. So watch out if you’re disabled.”
— On the floor of the House of Representatives, 7/27/2009. Source. See also. [In this speech, she refers to a section of an article Emanuel wrote to point out the negative repercussions of such a harsh policy approach.]

The Horror of Public Service

“We had about 75,000 people involved in Americorps before — this adds another 250,000 people. . . . I believe when it’s all said and done this service that I believe there is a very strong chance that we will see that young people will be put into mandatory service and the real concern is that there are provisions for what I would call re-education camps for young people where young people have to go and get trained in a philosophy that the government puts forward and then they have to go and work in some of these politically correct forums.”
— Interview with Sue Jeffers, KTLK FM, 4/4/2009. Source.

I See Anti-American People

The news media should do a penetrating expose and take a look.  I wish they would.  I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-America or anti-America?”
— Interview on Hardball with Chris Matthews, 10/17/2008. Transcript. Video.

“I think the people that Barack Obama has been associating with are anti-American, by and large.”
— Interview on Hardball with Chris Matthews, 10/17/2008. Transcript. Video.

WTF Moments

Michael Steele, you be the man — you be the man.”
— Conservative Political Action Conference, 2/26/2009. Video. Alternate Video.

“During the last 100 days we have seen an orgy. It would make any local smorgasbord embarrassed if you looked at this spending orgy we’ve seen in Washington. So it’s no surprise that our national debt is now soaring over eleven trillion dollars. . . . April 26 was National Debt Day and you know what that means – the government spent its wad by April 26.”
— Speech at the Jason Lewis Anti-Tax Rally, Saint Paul, MN, 5/2/2009. Video.

“We will talk a little bit about what has transpired in the last 18 months and would we count what has transpired into turning our country into a nation of slaves.”
— Keynote speech to the Western Conservative Summit in Denver, CO, 7/9/2010. Source.

“I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out under another, then under another Democrat president, Jimmy Carter. I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”
Pajamas TV, 4/28/2009. Source. Video.
[The 1976 Swine Flu outbreak happened during the Ford administration.]

“If we look at American history, between 1942 and 1947, the data that was collected by the Census Bureau was handed over to the FBI and other organizations at the request of President Roosevelt, and that’s how the Japanese were rounded up and put into the internment camps. I’m not saying that that’s what the Administration is planning to do, but I am saying that private personal information that was given to the Census Bureau in the 1940s was used against Americans to round them up, in a violation of their constitutional rights, and put the Japanese in internment camps.”
— Interview on Fox News, 6/25/2009. Video clip and partial transcript.

“I don’t think I give as much credence to my own mind, because I see myself as being very limited and very flawed, and lacking in knowledge, and wisdom and understanding. So, I just take the Bible for what it is, I guess, and recognize that I am not a scientist, not trained to be a scientist. I’m not a deep thinker on all of this. I wish I was.”
— As quoted in The Stillwater Gazette, September 27, 2005. Source.

“My husband said, now you need to go and get a postdoctorate degree in tax law. Tax law? I hate taxes. Why should I go and do something like that? But the Lord says, be submissive. Wives, you are to be submissive to your husbands. And so we moved to Virginia Beach, Virginia, and I went to William and Mary – to law school there – for a postdoctorate degree in tax law, and I pursued this course of study – never had a tax course in my background, never had a desire for it, but by faith, I was going to be faithful to what I felt god was calling me to do through my husband, and I finished that course of that study.”
— Speech to the Living Word Christian Center, October 2006. Source. Video.

[Regarding the budget deficit] “We need to simply tell people the facts, like Glenn Beck, with that chalkboard, that man can explain anything. I think if we give Glenn Beck the numbers, he can solve this.”
— Stump speech in Spartanburg, SC, 2/19/2011. Source.

[On why liberals don't like her] “I don’t know. I’m a lovable little fuzzball!”
— Interview with MinnPost (Minneapolis / St. Paul), 12/9/2009. Source.

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2 Responses to “Quotes from Michele “Fuzzball” Bachmann”

  1. Wilma Says:

    Thank you so much for collecting these quotes, and perhaps more importantly, for keeping them in context and providing sources.

    We cannot afford to have a president who invents facts so willingly and with such aplomb, who actually looks forward to seeing the world end, who is prone to making major decisions based on what God reveals to her, and who believes that most science is ‘hokum’ even while admitting that she does not understand it.

    Despite what Michele Bachmann thinks, we are not and will never be a nation composed of exclusively white, dual-parent, straight, Christian fundamentalist households made up of individuals who can’t fathom and don’t believe in the reality that centuries of scientific thought describes.

    Regarding “I don’t know. I’m a lovable little fuzzball!”:

    At first glance, this answer seems fairly innocuous, if a bit silly. However, the fact that Michele Bachmann assumes people should accept her AS PRESIDENT because she is a ‘lovable fuzzball’ when her understanding of science, cultural and religious diversity, economics, public policy, and world politics is more than a bit ‘fuzzy’ (weak, uninformed, overly simplistic, slanted, and naïve), and when she routinely exaggerates, alters, or invents historical, scientific, and personal facts to suit her needs, speaks directly to the problem with electing her as our next president.

    We’re in the midst of a global economic nightmare and standing at the brink of a man-made environmental catastrophe. We don’t need a ‘fuzzball’ as the next president. We need someone with a PLAN.

  2. Sara Burke Says:

    [Adding the famous "wives, you are to be submissive" quote that I had previously overlooked.]

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